Week 12: Transitions in Marriage

The Dread Pirate Roberts Had All the Answers

I found a lot of good quotes from this week’s reading. My favorite was when President Gordon  B. Hinckley, speaking of his relationship with Sister Hinckley, said: “[I] get out of her way, and marvel at what she does.” I love this so much!

Another idea that I really liked had more to do with parenting than marriage: “Give your children regular, daily doses of Vitamin N. This vital nutrient consists simply of the most character-building two-letter word in the English language––‘No’ . . . Unfortunately, many, if not most, of today’s children suffer from Vitamin N deficiency. They have been over-indulged by well-meaning parents who have given them far too much of what they want and far too little of what they truly need” (John Rosemond, Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children).

I believe that many of our society’s problems come from a lack of parenting. It’s much easier in the moment to give into our kids, just to get them off of our backs. But we pay the consequences in the long run. And it’s so much worse now than it used to be, when both children and adults alike are used to having everything at the click of a mouse. If we have to wait longer than ten seconds for an internet page to load, more than five minutes for our McDonald’s order, or more than the promised 2-day shipping courtesy of Amazon Prime, we have a complete meltdown!

Along with impatience-itis, many suffer from the deluded thinking that everything has to be fair—not just kids! I’ve heard many grown-ups complaining of things their adult siblings were given by the parents, and how ‘unfair’ it was. Worse than that, the parents of these adult children sometimes go to great lengths to ‘make it up to’ their supposedly slighted kids. Most of the time, life isn’t fair and that’s just the way it is. I’ve worked hard to disabuse my kids of the notion that everything always has to be equal among them. In fact, when confronted with “but that’s not fair!” I often quote age-old wisdom to my little beasties: “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something” (Westley as the Dread Pirate Roberts, The Princess Bride).